Nika's Journal

Early Life Entry: Death

Maybe in a few days I will be able to wrap my head around what’s happened. Maybe. If they’re going to make me spend the first ten years of my life alone, you’d think they’d have the decency to spend the next ten with me. They could barely make it five. Oh, sure, I suppose it’s not technically their fault, but you know what technicalities get you? Nothing. Not even space cops care about technicalities. I’m pretty sure most fifteen year olds aren’t worrying about this. I don’t know. It’s not like I had many friends. Have. I don’t. The point is, what am I supposed to do now? Go back to Tibah? What would I be going back to?

Entry: Death, Revisited

My fingers are blurry and made of light. My parents are dead and my hands are lights.

Maybe I should join them.

Entry: Drsyj, 3

never do the product never go to tibah never let it hurt

Entry: Corisco

My name is Nika and I am no longer addicted to opiates. I think. I’ve spent the last six months with Corisco, and it has been quite the…something. I don’t remember how I found him, I don’t remember what I was doing before I found him, and I don’t know how much I don’t remember. I’m not even sure that Corisco is a good person, but he’s the only person I have and you’ve got to start somewhere. Tomorrow, I’m going to make a trip with him to attempt to sell some metallics. Hopefully I haven’t forgotten everything.

Entry: Corisco (Part 2)

I have not forgotten everything, but I certainly don't remember any deals being finalized like that.

Entry: Underworld

I think there is a very specific part of my smuggling education that my parents neglected to show me. Granted, they might have eventually gotten around to it, but my lack of knowledge on the subject matter is becoming a glaring issue. At the very least, my crash-course in the smuggling underworld has been good for something--I'm much better at talking my way out of situations. It's become an increasingly necessary skill, as the people Corisco deals with aren't exactly nice, even considering the type of people in the smuggling business, and they don't respond well once a gun is pulled out. If you can talk your way out of the situation before a firefight occurs, then it's generally better off for everyone. Especially with how much they all seem to drink!

Entry: Corisco (Part 3)

If my parents are looking down on me from some etheral place, I think they would be ashamed. Or horrified. Not that I knew them well enough to know for certain. This might be how all smugglers conduct business--it's easier to come by than money or other goods on short notice. However, I wouldn't mind if Corisco was the one who had to "lie down and take it" every once and awhile. If this keeps up much longer, I think I'm going to need a way out.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Mainyu

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">My right eye has swollen shut. Corisco didn't seem surprised when he saw me. Apparently "no" was never an option to begin with. The only way out I can see right now involves my death, and even that seems better than the existence I currently have. If I escape, and live, I will find a place to recover and then hunt Corisco down as soon as I can. If I'm lucky, someone else will take care of Mainyu. I'm sure he's acquired enough enemies.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Corisco (Part 4)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">I jumped out a window. It wasn't too high up, but it certainly hurt when I hit the ground. I think I did something to my leg, but that can be fixed later, when I'm far away from Corisco. I don't think he'll come after me, because why would he consider me a threat? His mistake. <h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Post-Addiction <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Entry: Ships, Charm, and Luck

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">I have managed to book passage to Natulus, where I shall hopefully be able to acquire a ship. Once I've gotten that taken care of, I can work on piecing my life back together. Although I suppose I should do that prior to making a major purchase, but what kind of smuggler is without a mode of transportation? Even if it's the most run-down ship they have, it would be mine. Eventually, I should be able to upgrade.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Bartering right now without stealing or, well, the usage of other things, is hard. If there hadn't been the whole broken leg thing to take care of, I would have been able to get on the ship just fine. Progress, even if it is slow, is still progress. <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Entry: Corisco (Part 5)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">I finally found him. He seemed surprised to see me. Good. Luckily for him, I was feeling benevolent--I only cut off one hand.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Entry: Weapon #568; Mysterious Powder

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Negotiations broke down for the weapon. I am somehow not shocked, although I suppose I should be. Dealing with corrupt space police is never exactly an easy job. First there’s all the power that went to their tiny police-brains (because let’s be honest here, space police have tiny brains.  Surely that’s the one thing that links them—their teeny tiny little brains that would be adorable if you put it in a jar and gave it eyes, because all tiny things are cute—take the Tibah Spidler for example.  You’d think that sixteen eyes and four legs wouldn’t be cute, but it’s super fuzzy and adorable because it’s so small.  It also won’t hesitate to bite you, thus paralyzing you if you don’t get an antidote quick enough.  But still.  Cute!). Anyway. Then, there’s the fact they’re, you know, corrupt, and so they think everyone’s out to get them and is also corrupt. Hello, projection! So needless to say the trade didn’t go through.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">I did, however, manage to find another buyer for it. Except they gave me this powder stuff I had never seen before. Told me “it’s real dangerous now. Don’t light it.”  So, of course, the first thing I did when I was back on the ship was light it.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Holy smokes. Literally. There was smoke everywhere and I’m pretty sure I’ll need to patch some holes in the ship before I can fly again. This needs some research before I try and find a buyer. If I try and find a buyer

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Entry: Corisco (Part 6)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Sometimes there are people in your life that are no longer a part of it for very, very good reasons. And sometimes they pop up where you least expect them and you're transported back to times you wish you could forget. <h2 class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in0in10pt;">Present Day

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Scrimshaw; Opiates

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">It appears I have relapsed. I think even accidental relapses count. It was a great feeling. Although, I suppose I probably let my tongue wag a bit too freely. Since no one’s said anything, though, I think I might be in the clear. Maybe all the words were in my head. I do that sometimes, probably a byproduct of how much I was left alone as a child. Although I suppose those wouldn’t just be mental words.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">I’m getting sidetracked. I’ll just pretend that’s an unintended side-effect of the opiate relapse. We’re doing this thing with shells. I tried to convince them to not go to Tibah. Although I suspect the effectiveness of my argument was limited by not only the drugs I took, but also the purple squids. I swear I’m not hallucinating. I’m clearly not hallucinating, since I chased one down and I’m told they’re fairly common and now I apparently have a destiny to fulfill?? Have these purple squid people ''even met me? ''I am not a good person to pin a destiny on. I actually lost several years of my life to a crippling opiate addiction. You know how people like me end up? Not saving anybody, that’s for sure.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">I’m not even sure I’m a good person. I don’t want a destiny. I feel like I’m sixteen again and floundering for some grasp on who I actually am. Why would a purple squid give me a destiny? His magic crystal eight ball must be malfunctioning or something. There are much better humanoids for this mysterious job.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Haldis; Body Counts

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">For the longest time, I thought the only death I would have on my hands was my own and my parents. I was wrong. I would like to blame this on the opiates, but I think continuing to use that as a crutch will just further destroy whatever is left of me. Granted, if I went back to using, then it will definitely destroy me.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Maybe that's an option I should pursue, depending on how this trip to Haldis goes. Go back to Tibah, find what's left of the old house, find my old supplier, or a new one, and then I won't have to worry about anything else. Maybe.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Haldis, Still; Eagles

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">I think all these thoughts of Tibah have brought back the old Nika. Or maybe the older-ish Nika, post-addiction, pre-freedom. Certainly not new Nika, by any means. If there ever was a new Nika. I should stop thinking about this, because he's dead, because it doesn't matter, and it will never matter again. Maybe.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">The birds here are huge. I bet they could take down several spidlers. How many Tibah spidlers would a Haldis eagle have to eat before it was paralyzed? Or do Haldis eagles have a special sort of digestive system that allows them to eat spidlers without consequence? If they do, I think I would like the Haldis eagle digestive system.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">Entry: Destinies

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">I am going to make a trip to Id once we're done on Haldis. There are some purple squids I need to have a discussion with, and I should probably look into obtaining another ship. Not that I need to go to Id to get a ship, but I'm not quite sure I'd be much welcome in the more legitimate businesses on Nautilis, what with this whole Rune thing going on.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt">My new ship will be bigger, I think. Might as well upgrade at this point. Besides, money I spend on a ship is money that can't be spent in other places.